New York Subway

A pale, misshapen governance drew nearer. I could sense a black familiarity, but it was hard to grasp.No dont come any closer Please no I tail assemblyt organize no more Youre not alive, youre not alive idolise overtook my body as I began to recollect consciousness. I trembled unable to gain control over my body. I shook my head in an act to develop a sense of reality. It was no use. What was I doing here?I peered with the window in a desperate attempt to discover something recognisable but despite these attempts I couldnt. The streets were overcome with people, no(prenominal) of them yet aware they were being observed, just carrying on with their normal r offines, stalking the streets leaving no office for the sidewalks to breathe.I frantically scanned the small, enclosed room in order to find something to refresh my memory. I and then came across a card reading with deepest sympathy..A puzzled expression was forced upon my face as I tried to make sense of it. Then I real ised why I was here. A river flowed d birth my cheeks as I fell to the floor wishing I could go tire out out to not knowing. It was so hard for me to accept it, I mat as if I was being suffocated with my own feelings, as if my heart had been taken from me for it was unable to feel no more.Silence. Not even the clocks could bear to tick anymore. Everything so empty and cold, leaving no reason to go on. Why did she have to drop dead? I felt so much resent towards her. How could she do this to me? So many thoughts and questions were running through my mind. What was I saying? How could I feel so much hate and rejection to my own become?I felt so sick and numb inside. Physically I felt dead but emotionally I felt so much pain and sorrow. It wasnt just me I had to think or so though was it? What about my family? What were they going to think if I didnt go to my m otherwises funeral?The whole prospect made me shiver. I can imagine their remarks now. I had to go no matter how I felt , I had to say goodbye.I felt as if I was in a world of confusion. The funeral was to be in New York due to my mother being brought up in that location. But how could I get there? How could I afford it?I hadnt even come to terms with my mothers death and yet I was left over(p) with all these decisions. I opened my handbag to find emptiness kind of the demeanor I was feeling right now. I closed my look trying to gain a stable state of mind. Somehow Id get there, no matter how demanding the situation is. What kind of a person would I be if I didnt go?I respire in late, hoping the extra oxygen would give me an answer to my problems it didnt. Nothing would bring her post but at least I can take her with me as a part of her will always stay put in me, I can mind that now.I stared at the ceiling, hoping it would give me an insight into my problems. I sighed deeply closing my eyeball once again. Then I axiom her face again drawing nearer, her eyes calling tome in a deep, long ing desire.I couldnt stop shaking. The images just kept running through my mind manage a film being played over and over again in slow motion.My eyes fixed upon the clock. Time just seemed to flow by carelessly without anything being execute in it. It tended to make me feel sad that Id wasted so much. I needed to get out of here before I wasted anymore time on pointless arguments with myselfI left the hotel, frantically trying to gather any spare money that had been left well-nigh the room. There was simply anything. I stepped out onto the sidewalk to be barged into, everyone rushing to get somewhere, not caring about anyone else.I looked up at the sky to discover tall, large buildings towering over me in an ominous way. I felt so alone yet I was surrounded by hundreds of people. I carried on walk take in the sidewalk admiring the homeless, not their lifestyles but their outlook on life. They dont care about what anyone else thinks, only about the necessities. Although in their eyes I could see despair, this is not right, what was the world coming to?These menacing thoughts could not be rid of. They just kept tormenting my mind. Then I saw the answer, it was written in large rash letters entitled Broadway subway.There had been many stories about taking the subway but I didnt work out any of them was true, besides its cheap and its the only way.I stepped down into a dark, dingy hole of swarthiness below on the earths surface. A distinguished stench roamed the air making me feel nauseous. I went down the stairwell cautiously taking in the hell-like atmosphere.As I reached the bottom I gasped in horror at the threatening surroundings. Graffiti pierced the subway walls increasing its texture as it builds up in layers. I wanted to turn hold up but I knew I couldnt. Red paint stained the walls it was well-nigh like oh wait it was. My face went pale as I saw the human blood dabbled up the cold, hard wall, no one even bothering to remove it. I ran as fast as I could trying to escape the idolises of the imagination.All around me I saw images flashing through my mind. business organization gripped my heart. part blocked my vision as I tried to find the token booth. I couldnt back out now I had already come too far. I hesitated as I saw the token booth I then approached it pulling out a dollar, the only thing I had left. I purchased the token and then waited patiently wishing it wouldnt come for then I could have an excuse. Who was I kidding? The only person I was trying to fool was myself.The trains eyes beamed out of the darkness, it was like they were trying to sedate their victims before theyd even begun their ghastly journey. I took the first car making sure that there were other people on it, so that I could remind myself that I wasnt the only person experiencing this catastrophe.I stared at the floor trying to avoid eye contact with any of the other passengers incase they see fear in my eyes or that I may see fear in theirs, ei ther way I was doomed. The lights flickered on and off struggling to keep a constant setting. I often feared that they would entirely go off. I didnt dare to see how anyone else was feeling. The whole car was filled with an annoying silence and nettlesome atmosphere. It was hard to keep sanity.No one dared speak in case of rejection or unwanted conversation. gauge drifted through the air causing me to cough, I was unable to hold it in. I stared out of the window to see darkness and the occasional flicker of light. This was all too much.Then suddenly the train came to a noise halt and then darkness. Total darkness. My heart began to pound unexpectedly I couldnt bear to sit like this. I felt so restrained by the silence. I felt so alone.Hello? Is anyone there? Somebody please answer me? I screamed unable to be silenced any longer. Then I heard a murmur in the background.Its ok this usually happens, it only lasts a few minutes. Youll be ok.The lights slower began to flicker, swayin g form side to side before regaining total lighting. I turned around to see people smiling in relief.Thanks I said quietly realising that this wasnt as usurious as I thought. The fear of the subway was just in my head. Just a constant monitor of how brutal life can be.I sat back and sighed in relief before realising that I didnt know what platform to get off at. Panic. I couldnt bear to go through all this again. I decided to get off at the next platform and then get directions from there. I chop-chop rose and stepped off the train to find myself surrounded by emptiness. My hopes had been demolished once again. Everything came flooding back and I finally broke down. I could no longer hold in all these feelings. Tears burst from my eyes and I didnt have the strength to wipe them away.It was then a hand affected my shoulder. A shiver went down my spine as I turned around in fear. A man was stood behind me, he smiled calmly.Whats wrong? He saidI didnt want got get into everything so I just told him that I was lost and I needed to get out of the subway. He showed me to the stairwell and gave me directions.A sense of relief passed through me. Was it finally it? Was I really here? The only thing that was left to frighten me was the thought of going back. But I realised now that there was nothing to fear except being left alone with my thoughts, but maybe if I confronted them then there would be nothing left to fear except perhaps, fear itself